If the title of this blog is a little triggering for you…e.g. “but our family and work have to come first”…this is even more worth reading through to the end!  Don’t worry, I was the same until…

I had pushed through 2 weeks of intense training with a cold and a little cough so that I could get a qualification to work a 3^rd job…as a single mother.  Living in Australia isn’t cheap and my son had been asking daily for our ‘holiday’ as all of his little friends had been going on theirs **enter unrealistic & unnecessary mama guilt**.  Being so busy with training, the businesses, work and parenting that fortnight – I got by on snacks (super low calories), rubbish sleep and excessive caffeine…literally the worst combination for a body already under stress from illness. That ‘just push through, do it for your kid’ mentality saw me landed in hospital on Mother’s Day with mild pneumonia, severe tonsilitis and tachycardia (not as dramatic as it sounds, just the heart working overtime trying to deal with the viral load).  I was broken – prescribed steroids, brutal painkillers and strong antibiotics and told to go to bed for a minimum of 10 days.  The painkillers meant I couldn’t care for my son (a huge thank you to his Daddy and his family for really stepping up this week so I can rest) and a lost 2 weeks of income from missed work which meant my plan had backfired in every way possible.  The result – ending up sick, sore and letting down the people I most cared about in numerous ways.  Probably would have been easier to just rest at the beginning, taking a couple of days off with a cold, nourishing food, targeted supplements and actually asking for (and receiving) help…but hindsight is a beautiful thing and we can’t ever judge ourselves for trying.

The most ironic part of all of this? I know better, a LOT better;

• I am the first one to get up family and friends for not taking care of themselves when it comes to health in all arenas (feeling like a bit of a hypocrite, sorry guys)…
• I am very nearly a qualified nutritionist who is also doing bridging subjects for entry into medicine to become an Integrative GP…
• As a trained counsellor and passionate business consultant I am huge on self-compassion, self-care, moderation in all things and balance…especially as mothers.
• Health is my highest value and we all know how much MN preaches that happiness & fulfilment comes from living a life aligned with your values.
• I survived a huge cancer battle 11 years ago and know all too well how precious our health really is. I know that true success has very little to do with money or things (though both are lovely) but more to do with radiant health, a peaceful mind, being surrounded by (and filled with) love and having an unshakable feeling of contentment despite any challenge or craving for more.

So yup, tail between the legs this time but will be kind to myself about it…sometimes we need to learn a lesson more than once and that’s ok too.

Abraham Hicks says something beautiful in one of their meditations that has really stuck – “I will take care of me and THEN do anything else I have time for”.  Love this and it’s a mantra that will be put into diligent practice over the next few months (or possibly permanently).  How different do you feel your life would be if your priority was caring for you?  Has a little voice popped up and said “that’s not realistic”?  What if it could be?  Even in the smallest of ways?  What if you could…

• Cook something for dinner that is most nourishing for you & your body most nights of the week and not give a sh*t if the family like it or not? They know where the fridge is and if you have a toddler, the old cheese and crackers works a treat!
• Schedule your exercise, rest and ‘you’ time into your calendar like you do work, kids sports/activities and partner’s commitments.
• Occasionally spend “family” money or time on something you really need right now e.g. counselling, seeing a naturopath or integrative practitioner, taking a day off work, getting a massage, taking a bit of a mama retreat that you schedule in once a year.
• Get up half an hour earlier than the family does to have some peaceful time just for you – a quiet tea or coffee and meditation (or anything else that fills your cup and calms you).
• Being more assertive at work and at home over what you can and can’t do alone, communicating where you need more support and/or feel overwhelmed. This isn’t selfish, it’s letting others in and being honest.  You’ll be surprised how well it’s received too, because so many people genuinely care and want to help.  After all, it gives clarity to both sides, and to be clear is kind.

A beautiful friend of mine (and one of the counsellors here on the team so PLEASE book in with Louise if you ever need to feel heard, nourished and like you’ve spent an hour with one of the wisest, most loving humans on the planet) said –

“Make sure you just sleep and rest. Don’t worry about anything else…it will all be there tomorrow and the next day. Nothing is more important than you getting better.  Be still, your son is with the only other person in the world who loves him the way you do.  Take peace in that and focus on you”

I can’t tell you how much that filled my heart, or how much I needed to hear that.  So thank you Lou – I’m sure there are other mamas who need to hear that right now too.

So rest when you need to.  Know you matter. Take care of you always. 

And please learn from my silliness over the last few weeks so you don’t have to make the same mistake.

Love always,

The Mother (now even more) Nurtured x